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The background of a person may be unique compared to those of the other people. But there are certain social events, political structures, economy systems, and cultures, which are shared by a group of people, though I don’t really like to use the word “culture”. These common experiences shape one’s background by bringing similar memories, knowledge and even opinions to each member of the group. People from different backgrounds often implicitly assume their common ground to be much larger in some areas and much smaller in other areas than the reality suggests. These false assumptions create frustration in communication. It happens even more when one finds himself moving away from his original background, learning greatly from the new environment, but yet to gain enough as people who originate from this “new” environment. Especially when the past and the present contrast in many ways, it is easy to find oneself drop into a gap between the two. They say, “Perhaps there is no gap”. “But at least I felt there is when I talked to you.” the person said.

Surely, it takes time. The issue is only that from time to time one has to face the dilemmas caused by this gap. It is never an easy decision to make. One may have to convince himself to focus on the present, take care of the emotions that follow, see through the time and spot the potential solutions. It is true that, without the present, we have no ground to talk about the past or the future. Nietszche said, people who are slow to accept knowledge falsely assume that slow is essential for obtaining knowledge. But sometimes, time does be essential. After all, life is a function of time. We don’t have much balance of time in our life accounts, but I believe that personal growth is one wise way to spend it. Wisdom sometimes has to wait. Moreover, one may be able to see in the process that the other people, though still great and awesome, may not be as knowledgeable as he previously assumed. We may be simply confused opinion with knowledge. Realizing the limits as a human being and expanding the boarders of one’s mind are both within the programme of life-long learning. Neither has the right to reject the other.

And that was me. One of my strategies is reading.

I found myself surrounded by books, which is good. Reading through a weekend is an enjoyable experience. Since no technical work is now at hand and writing proposal becomes the main task in every working day, life seems simple. It also allows more time of reading, not just within the research topic but also in a more general sense. Especially during the time my draft is being reviewed, there is a good reason to swim around my books. A friend asked how many books I have left open forever. Look, counting the number is simply out of question. Even the novels fail to win my loyalty. But it does not harm opening a new one. I said to every one of them, one day I will come back. You can count on my good memory, at least for books. The song by the dory fish in the movie Finding Nemo has become my favourate: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim.” It applies to so many occasions. You may also sing along when feeling stuck on something. Using the phrase I learnt from Liz Gilbert, “I’ve been there.” The implication is that now I’ve moved on.

Liz’s book is difficult to read. Not in terms of content, but emotion. It is an emotional experience every time going through a chapter or so. The words are sincere, touching, and affecting. It is particularly not a good idea to find the writer crying in her depression when the reader herself is in a depressed mood. Most of us have our own issues to work on. When we share, it is easy to feel the empathy. One of my friends found the book too simple, while the other considers it as bible. I personally was bored by the Italian food’s names. For one it is because I am not familiar with the language. For another that is because I don’t have much experience in Italian food. A person who never sees pasta A and pasta B simply has difficulty in telling apart the two from their names. To make it worse, they are Italian names. However, to be fair, it is still a good book. The author has been through so much thinking on meanings, choices, and reasons in life that conclusions in the book are often personal and convincing. One may not follow her choice but mostly agree that it is a good choice. It offers some insight to the reader’s own journey too.

Well, this is what I’m being through. Hope I can offer some more update later.